Otto Mannix Report

BRAINWASH (Circle of Power)

2012-01-15T16:38:00.044-05:00

LEADERSHIP DYNAMICS 101
For your consideration: An all-but-forgotten 1981 movie masterpiece showcasing the intoxicating talents of Yvette Mimieux --> A virtually unavailable gem entitled:

The story opens at the executive offices of Mystique, Inc., where CEO Bianca Ray (Mimieux) rules with extreme prejudice. We don't exactly know what Mystique does, but it looks to be cosmetics, perfume, fashion-related. She immediately lays down the gauntlet, outlining the upcoming seminar, required of employees for advancement: EDT, Executive Development and Training. This mysterious ritual promises to weed out the losers and catapult the winners to the next level.

Immediately apparent is the cold, intimidating sexual power of the unapproachable Ms. Ray. So thoroughly squared-away and professional, she makes Margaret Thatcher seem like Mary-Ann from Gilligan's Island. The starched pleats on her executive ensemble could slit your throat and return to business before exsanguination begins! Forget the leather, whips and stilettos, you old perverts; one icy glance from Bianca Ray could reduce you to a simpering, submissive puppy-boy. (But we never get to see her so scantily clad as in the poster above, which makes her all the more bewitching.)

More about this odd film after a little digression regarding the career of the great Yvette!

She was Weena opposite Rod Taylor's George in 1960's THE TIME MACHINE, confusing us all with her beautifully alien manner and visage.

She teams again with Taylor in DARK OF THE SUN, a 1968 mercenary powder keg exploding from the screen, blowing blood and guts into your popcorn, fool. (Otto was dragged to this movie in chains by the Supreme Adjudicator of Ivanlandia, undergoing his own EDT.)

Perhaps the groundwork for Yvette's ruthless Bianca was laid in JACKSON COUNTY JAIL, in which she is tossed in the clink and raped by a bad, bad man, but delivered from harm by the quiet, brooding Tommy Lee Jones. A 70s classic.

Finally, an OMR favorite: the unfathomable DEVIL DOG: THE HOUND OF HELL.
The Barry family gets a new puppy, but are sorely unprepared for the care and feeding of a canine agent of Satan. R.G. Armstrong plays a satanic puppy-peddler!

What a gas when Richard Crenna is impelled by man's-best-friend to stick his hand into a running lawn mower! Unfortunately he is able to resist. (SPOILER ALERT: TOO LATE) Yvette plays Mrs. Barry. One night she finds herself alone in the house with Devil Dog. Sensing something wrong, she gets a little edgy, and slowly backs herself into her bedroom. But evil doggy trots in after, closing the door with his demon mind! The bumping of uglies is implicit; a truly shocking B-moment. Later when hubby returns home, Yvette is primed with drink in hand, randy and ready for action.
An absolute must-see performance by Her Highness! (OK, i blew the best moments, but see it anyway.)

Returning to BRAINWASH, AKA Circle of Power, we at OMR are too stupid to summarize the movie. We leave that to the folks over at Stomp Tokyo. Here's what they write:

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During the week of EDT, these men and their wives (there don't seem to be any female Mystique employees) check into a remote luxury hotel maintained by the company. Then Ms. Ray begins to torture them. That's right, torture.
EDT consists of splitting the trainees into two groups (by gender) and then subjecting them to rigorous physical punishment, public humiliation, and various forms of mental abuse. The aim of all this activity is to expose each person's subconscious hangups: the fat guy eats because he was sexually abused as a child, the old guy is drinking himself to death and needs help to regain his will to live, and so on. In turn, each subject realizes what his hangup is and then thanks his torturers profusely for helping him to see the light. "It works!" they each chant as they are finally released from their personal hells. "It really works!"

Of course, not everyone is convinced. But by the time anyone works up the nerve to say anything, there are enough converts to the cause (not to mention the hired muscle) to keep the others "open-minded." The women, too, are subjected to the same sort of torture by Ray's male counterpart. To be honest, it's pretty gruesome throughout: the attendees are under-fed and over-exercised, marriages are tested, and worst of all, character actor Walter Olkewicz takes off his clothes.
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The VHS tape in the OMR library has been run so many times, it eventually snapped. The tape spools had to be removed from the cartridge, the tape spliced and transplanted to another cartridge.
This surgical procedure was performed in an antiseptic environment by trained technicians wearing bio-hazard suits. Norman W. was chief surgeon. This is required viewing for any ambitious movie lover. Good luck finding a copy.

The film was adapted from a 1970s book called THE PIT: A Group Encounter Defiled. WOW! Had this book sold more, we may have lost fewer souls at Jonestown!!!

The End of Times

2011-11-14T19:51:00.002-05:00

Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By...

2011-11-08T17:42:00.006-05:00

"GODDAMMIT," says Otto as he tries to adjust the picture.

"I can't believe this is REALITY."

"SHIT, i thought technology was supposed to be convenient!"

"Lemme just give this baby a reach-around."

"It's no use," says Otto in final frustration.

Friday Blues

2011-10-14T14:49:00.016-04:00

DRAT! Poor Mr. Mannix was forced to join you commoners in this morning's rush hour rat race!

The Jesus nut was being replaced today on the OMR personal helicopter.

But he managed to arrive safely at his ninth-floor office of the Los Angeles Headquarters Building...

...returning to the comfort of his bottle of OLD GRAND-DAD, second drawer on right--->

Iowa On The Silver Screen Pt. I

2011-08-30T12:24:00.033-04:00

This is the first entry in an ongoing series regarding the great state of Iowa as setting and/or location for motion pictures. The examples are few, and yet more than we'd figured. In 1971, when Norman Lear's COLD TURKEY was released, the very idea of a movie being shot in Iowa was unheard of to a young Otto. Movies were windows into other worlds, never reflections of my own.

The story takes place in the fictional town of Eagle Rock, and was shot mostly in the real town of Greenfield, as well as Winterset and others. When the film premiered in Des Moines, the line at the old movie palace The Galaxy Theater wrapped around the block. One would have thought all those eager consumers were waiting to see THE FRENCH CONNECTION or DIRTY HARRY, released the same year. But to the largely ignored fly-over citizenry of Iowa, such was the novelty of a movie based in their state. Young Otto stood in that line, and was neither bored nor enthused about the results; it had been entertaining enough. In a recent viewing of the second half of the movie, Otto has determined that the movie ultimately degenerates into a sixties-style farcical romp, complete with an incessant marching brass band, and everyone screaming and hollering over each other at top volume. Could the movie's title be its own two-word review?

Not the right stuff for these old nerves, but OM owes it a full screening. For a good synopsis and review of COLD TURKEY, click here.

--------------------------------

Perhaps the most noteworthy Iowa film is David Lynch's THE STRAIGHT STORY, based on the true story of Alvin Straight's trek across Iowa and Wisconsin on a lawnmower; significant because the shooting of the film took place along the actual route taken by Mr. Straight, as he tenaciously ventured to pay a last visit to his estranged and ailing brother. A touching tale made believable by numerous authentic details, unique to those vast swaths of midwest country.

The pacing of the story corresponds appropriately to the speed of life out in those endless rolling fields of corn, cut through by unbending asphalt arteries, upon which parades of tractor-trailers seem to come from nowhere, and go to nowhere. At one point, Straight is passed by a large group of bicyclists, participants in an actual annual cross-Iowa bike ride known as RAGBRAI.

But the real authenticity, for this viewer, is the bulls-eye performance by Richard Farnsworth, himself ailing during production. Stoic and understated, Farnsworth perfectly captures the spirit of that generation of Iowans, who would reap no more than they would sow, and would prefer self-reliance over charity.

And for a native of Los Angeles, Farnsworth affects an impressive Iowa accent, sounding remarkably like Otto's old man, Ulmer (below right). Whether or not the movie holds up for Otto after a decade will soon be seen, but as a unique entry into the Lynch portfolio, it is worth a look. (Farnsworth was nominated for Best Actor Oscar; his second nomination.)

--------------------------------

And finally, we feature Julie Adams, best known for her vocal chords, among other assets, in CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Born in Iowa, and raised in Arkansas, she found her way to Hollywood and a string of fifties B-movies-- --until she got her groove with consistent television work; all the way from PERRY MASON to LOST, with some Mannix, Night Gallery and Beverly Hills, 90210 thrown in! Among her later box-office roles was a part in the almost-great "McQ", with fellow Iowan John Wayne.

Edgar Allan Poem

2011-07-04T00:45:00.021-04:00

Otto, with unbridled hubris, has reworked one of the most beautiful poems in the American canon. If you please:

ELDORADO
by Edgar Otto Mannix

He badly stunk,
Our stumbling drunk,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Lumbering long,
Puking a song,
In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old--
This bum so bold--
And o'er his heart a shadow
Crashed as he found,
No sidewalk ground,
That smelled like Eldorado.

And, as his rags
Failed him and sagged,
He met his drunken shadow--
"Shadow," slurred he,
"Where can it be--
This joint called Eldorado?"

"Down the Bowery
Follow the moon,"
Replied the drunken shadow,
"Crawl, boldly crawl
To the saloon
They call The Eldorado."

Ye Olde Tymes

2011-05-15T22:23:00.027-04:00

The Des Moines Register has a feature of interest: "Old Time Photo". We at OMR are keen on anything interesting out of the Dead Moines, and these are the Mannix picks from their nice collection.

I tried to manufacture a memory of this joint, but I must have confused it with FRANKEL's, where Otto and Otto's brother purchased Levi's jeans.

Sometimes ya gotta suit up and rob a fuckin' bank!

University Avenue and some other dumbass street.

The Ingersoll Theater. Damn, what movies did i see there? The Poseidon Connection, Jawsquake, or Invasion of the Close Encounters? Aw, it's all a blur... However, i see the marquee, and recollect brother Mannix reveling in the comedy of that tragedy (but i always thought it was a lot of caterwauling).

On a cold, grey, depressing day,
To spend the day, what better way,
Than to get yer ass up off the floor,
And dittybop o'er to the PETER PAN STORE?????

That mean old Ayatollah thought his little revolution would set us all to gnashing our teeth and driving around like maniacs, using up a lot of gas and killing ourselves in twelve-car pile-ups. But dammit, this'll show him!

Otto's lips are sealed on this one.

This house was razed to make way for the Veteran's Memorial Auditorium. On this spot, Ringling Bros. and every hard seventies rock band blew us all away. Otto personally witnessed Thin Lizzy, BTO, Slade, BÖC, Ted Nugent, Cheap Trick, Black Sabbath, etc, perform valiantly and rock our worlds on that sacred acre!

Killer storefront, but uncomfortable name. And Leopold Desks "Built on Honor" is a bit forced. And to the right, "ART METAL", that's the subgenre of rock music that never really caught on.

"Let the chips fall where they may!" This tireless worker is keeping the quality under control at the HILAND POTATO CHIP company. How that solid bastion of midwest wholesomeness went belly up is a mystery to scratch heads over for the rest of time!!!© Rick Rodine, 1989, Super-8 Kodachrome

This looks like a very boring experience. Plastering their name around FIVE times didn't help, but perhaps if they had included an apostrophe things could have gone differently!

You just might walk out a WINNER, then again...

The external stairway is so wacky that it demands your business. Why wasn't this a more common feature of retail stores? Well, i guess it's fairly obvious. But if you look closely, there is a Sherwin-Williams sign just beyond/below. "COVER THE EARTH", one of the great slogans of American enterprise. And what about their strange totalitarian image of the earth with a big paint spill running down? Almost kinky when you stop and thinky!

Personal Message from Sebastian Junger

2011-03-01T18:32:00.002-05:00

Happy Holidays

2010-12-19T15:30:00.003-05:00

May all your season's grievings be justified.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT???

2010-10-04T12:03:00.002-04:00

Part Two

2010-09-21T14:25:00.005-04:00

Our picks for the new cast of Hawaii Five-O. But CBS didn't listen.
(click to enlarge)

Takeover

2010-09-12T16:17:00.017-04:00

McGarrett: Keep cool, boys. Don't make any sudden movements. Let's see what these douchebags are up to.

Chin Ho: We're all over this shit, Steve.

Dano: Affirmative.

"HOLD IT! Stay right there, and get over yourself asshole, there is only ONE McGarrett, and it's ME!"

McGarrett: Che Fong, we have DNA samples of the new cast members and we want to confirm the data in case they try to pass this Korean guy off as a Hawaiian.

Ben: But Steve, we don't yet know if he's supposed to be Hawaiian.

McGarrett: Doesn't matter, the fact is, there is not ONE true Hawaiian on the new Five-O team. And that goes against everything Leonard Freeman and I tried to do with this show!

Che Fong: I'm on it, Steve. I'll run 'em through our genealogical database.

"Don't worry, honey. You're safe. It's preconfirmed that these idiots will not fill our shoes."

"OK, new guy, just TRY to be as cool as I will always be."

(this is the first installment of our special series of reactions to the new Hawaii Five-O.)

Berlin

2010-05-11T12:23:00.006-04:00

Screen captures from the 1966 film FUNERAL IN BERLIN. a spy movie.

Library

2010-04-25T08:05:00.009-04:00

We've decided to burn all the books in our library in a Great Purge! Who needs all that smelly old paper, when we can just buy those fruity machines?! Great, another battery to have to keep charged!

Strip Club

2010-04-18T10:28:00.014-04:00

Movie Theaters

2010-04-11T10:40:00.009-04:00

These slides from Des Moines movie houses taken from here.

Ode to Frank

2010-03-14T12:52:00.028-04:00

Things were going fine that night,
Then she walked into the room,
I think it's when i took that drink,
Of milk, what sealed my doom.

The curtains danced, our bodies glanced,
The walls began to breathe,

A slow advance, a weird romance,
Too see, but not believe.

But other eyes were in that place,
I swear I saw them there,
Three other guys, a blurry face,
Believe me if you dare.

So, I ran into the shattered street,
In fractured beads of light,

Up was down and left was right,
So far out -- out of sight.

I waded, godlike, onto shore,
The cloth of time unfurled,
But that's what happens, trippin' on ACID,
As "FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD"!

(35mm Slitscan photographs from the classic 1966 film)

Congratulations

2010-03-08T19:30:00.012-05:00

--------------YOU'VE REACHED THE END OF THE INTERNET!--------------

We at OMR defy the public to find a more bad-ass photo on the web. Who took this picture? We don't know. It appears to be a postcard of Los Angeles, perhaps by the same someone who brought us the shot we posted on Feb. 26.

The Brave and The Bold

2010-03-03T23:46:00.005-05:00

From 1973 and 1976. Two of four such encounters between the Batman and Sgt. Rock.

Postcard

2010-02-26T23:43:00.006-05:00

Los Angeles, (from the Otto Mannix Paper Archive).

Psycorps LLC.

2010-02-22T17:51:00.005-05:00

An OMR-affiliated private think-tank with unusually specific concerns.

G.C. Murphy

2010-02-14T14:52:00.011-05:00

The G.C. Murphy building in downtown D.C. is currently featured over at ANS. We present another angle on this lost landmark, which was razed in the eighties.

Anniversary

2010-01-31T17:36:00.023-05:00

One-hundred posts in one year. (The first month averaged more than one per day.) The Supreme Dictator of Ivanlandia is our tireless arbiter of tastes both good and bad, and those we never knew we had!
Mostly dishing out commentary on sub-genres of scratched-up film, but occasionally expounding on science, literature and cultural meltdown, this blog delivers... something... unsettling: an intimate peek into the mad mind of his Lordship.
To read an Ivanlandia review is to ride down the stream-of-consciousness of the writer, with ninety-degree digressions and visual asides peppered throughout. Free association at its best, but well-researched and always in the service of useful information.

But the hallmark of any self-respecting UPI post is the gratuitous fetish picture, appearing out of left field. Always lurking in the corner of the mad mind's eye is some oiled up robovixen ready to suffocate you with rubber-clad thighs, or something along those lines.

So let's STAYED TUNED and see what the next year brings.

1988

2010-01-28T15:28:00.009-05:00

One of our old trucks delivering the word. All twelve trucks were sold during our conversion to digital.

Banzai Charge

2010-01-23T14:56:00.022-05:00

Our final salvo in the cyber-gallery battle with ANS. To the victor shall go the spoils, whatever those might be. It's been a good fight and we may pitch battle again in the future. For our last desperate assault we throw a Tanguy back at the enemy. As well as a Morris Louis, a John Sloan, and a Wayne Thiebaud, whose landscapes seem tastier than his candies and cakes.

"BANZAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"

Counterstrike

2009-12-31T11:34:00.011-05:00

In response to our Cyber Gallery (see previous post) the folks at AMERICAN NATIONAL STANDARD hit back hard with works from their digital collection. It was a TKO that left us reeling. Although the pieces from the OMR post were in themselves great works, our mistake had been the grouping of inharmonious color schemes, creating a nauseating effect. We lost that battle and Otto Mannix chose to fire himself, but returned at the urging of his subordinates, who had engineered a counter offensive with a selection from the great Raymond Hains (click pics to enlarge). Take that, ANS!!!

Cyber Gallery

2009-12-12T12:52:00.011-05:00

Gerhard Richter, oil on aludibond, 2005.

Gustave Caillebotte.

Franz Kline, 1950s.

Charles Sheeler.

Hendrick Cornelisz Vroom, Battle of Gibraltar, 1621.

Henry Gasser, Newark in Winter, watercolor.

Sol Leiter, photograph, 1950s.

Andy Warhol, screenprint and synthetic polymer on canvas.

A Tremendous Beating

2009-11-08T21:03:00.030-05:00

"There was this one guy. He didn't pay me for months and months. I kept having to chase him. I was yelling at him and he told me to lower my voice. I said, 'Lower my voice? You take my money, you give me a tough time and then you tell me to lower my voice?' BOOM!

"And there was this other guy who owed me money. My friends were teasing me in a bar one night about it. He had made an appointment and didn't show. They're breaking my chops that he wasn't never going to pay. He don't care. As they were joking and laughing and teasing, he comes into the bar with some heavyweights in the Colombo family. I grabbed him and took him outside. First off, i tell him he's going to pay up. 'Second thing, when you make an appointment with me, you better show. Or send somebody down to tell me you ain't going to show. Don't fucking make me just stand on a street corner waiting for you.'

"He got a little nervy. 'Sammy,' he says, 'I'm tied up. I'm not paying the loan. I'm with Joe Colombo and the Italian-American Civil Rights League.' I said, 'You're with what? The Italian-American League? And you ain't paying? Who the fuck do you think I'm with, the Jewish Defense League?'

"I gave him a tremendous beating right then and there. And then this other guy, who's going to be made--remember, all them years the books were closed and nobody got made--comes out of the bar and says, 'What are you doing, Sammy? He's with Joe Colombo and the league.' I said, 'He owes me money and that's the bullshit answer that he gives me, that he ain't paying up. Fuck him and fuck that.'"
Sammy would often find Castellano seated on a balcony of the White House (a $3.5 million mansion on the highest part of Staten Island), in his robe and slippers, reading the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. "I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread," Sammy said. "He was smart, business-wise. He knew how to control people. He was a genius at it. He had that mannerism, that way about him. He was extremely articulate. Matter of fact, Fat Tony Salerno from the Genovese family once was at a meeting we had. Fat Tony was listening to him and he said, 'Paul, you talk so beautiful. I wish I could talk like that.' So he was very, very articulate, very, very smart, very, very rich and he looked to be very, very fair. We all thought he was going to run a real good show.
"The only thing was he wasn't a gangster and he didn't understand gangsters. He didn't understand what the fuck it was to be broke, to have to go out and rob and do certain things. He didn't understand what a gangster was all about, obviously. I mean, he didn't really understand gangsters like John Gotti and Angie Ruggiero, or me or Frank DeCicco, anybody who is a real hoodlum or gangster in that sense of the word.""This was bad news for Johnny Keys. I went back into the van and told him the 'decision' had come back against him. He had lost. He had to go. Like the man he was, the man I had come to understand him to be, the man I'd learned to respect over the past hours, he accepted this without comment. Me and Stymie and Louie--none of us--were happy with what was to come. I felt terrible that a man with such balls had to be hit. But this was Cosa Nostra. The boss of my family had ordered it. The entire commission ordered it. There was nothing else I could do."We drove to a section of Staten Island that had a back road running along a wooded area. We stopped the van. I remembered his request about his shoes. I took them off.

"Pal Joey went to grab him and pull him out. He kicked out at Joey right in the chest. He said, 'I'll walk out on my own. Let me die like a man.' He took five or six steps away from the van. Without a word, he lowered his head, quiet and dignified.

"I nodded at Louie Milito. As requested by Johnny Keys, he would be killed by a made member. Louie put a .357 magnum to the back of Johnny's head and fired. The shot immediately leveled him to the ground. He died instantly. He died without pain. He died with dignity. He died Cosa Nostra."

Castellano scrutinized Sammy for a moment. Then he replied, "You're definitely not going to die over this bum. But i want your word from now on that you won't ever, EVER do a piece of work unless it's approved by me, or unless somebody--and you better have the bullet holes to prove it--shot at you first and you had to kill him. Or if another friend of ours broke our rules and raised his hands against you."

"Louie was sitting next to me at the table. When Paul said what he said, Louie gives me a kick. I ignore him. I said, 'Paul, I can never give you that promise. I'm a man. If my thinking was not only to kill somebody but to protect you, I'd do it again tomorrow morning."Sammy saw Castellano shaking his head. There was a hint of a smile, as if he was laughing inwardly and trying not to show it. Castellano stood up. He told Sammy to do the same. Then Castellano held him by the shoulders, kissed his cheeks and said, "Just be a good friend of ours like you always have been. You can go now."

Outside the restaurant, Milito said, "Sammy, one thing this fucking Eddie has right is that you got the balls of an elephant. We were lucky in there. He was real mad at you, but he loves and respects the balls you got."

You have been reading excerpts from the book UNDERBOSS; Sammy the Bull Gravano's Story of Life in the Mafia, with accompanying photos taken from this excellent website. Oil painting of slain right-hand man Thomas Bilotti, ©1992 Rick Rodine.

Mischief?

2009-09-30T22:06:00.006-04:00

Today I walked into the Decompression Room, here at the offices, and apparently interrupted two of our secretaries. It seemed quite clear that they were 'up to something'. The question is: what? And where do we go from here? I'm wondering which one looks more guilty of 'something'. Hmmm... -O.M.

Jerry

2009-09-17T16:48:00.004-04:00

Hey, what's going on here? Have we all forgotten about Jerry Reed?

Kaufman's

2009-09-07T12:34:00.032-04:00

Our research odyssey took us through Wheeling, WV. Nestled along the hills of the Tri-State area of Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virgina, Wheeling is quite a site. Impressive bridges span the Ohio River and Nineteenth Century architectural wonders crowd the topography. But what most bedazzles the discerning eye is Kaufman's of Downtown Wheeling.

"One of the Nation's largest Bridal and Formal Superstores," it's an eye-popper! Nausea Blue panels, staggered in goofy relief, distinquish this consumer landmark from the run-of-the-mill.

Due to the situation of Kia Sportages and Chrysler Sebrings, we were unable to get a straight-on shot of the full facade. But such a picture can be seen here.

Field Trip

2009-08-27T13:41:00.012-04:00

The mandatory company field trip was a complete success; the pictures alone are proof enough. We set out to consume a piece of America, but the employees seemed to consume each other in the process. Yes, the usual intrigues were in full flower: in-fighting, back-biting, sexual tension and more. Plastic food wrappers were flying in all directions. Clean toilets were a scarcity.

But this time we were determined to really blow it out. We spared no expense by staying at the Dollar Inn just outside Indianapolis. You could hear the sound as leaves of cash splurged from pockets and across countertops.

Occasionally, the boring beauty of the fields of dreams would be interrupted by a jewel of hideousness such as the GAS AMERICA; a bonanza of possibilities. (Lucky Liquors, situated right next door, opened at 8 AM and closed at midnight, a subject of much jubilation.) More to come.

Motherland

2009-08-11T23:01:00.007-04:00

A two-week company field trip to the Des Moines branch, the original headquarters, for the purpose of destroying certain old files, and collecting the balance. The building has been purchased by a Japanese concern. On the return trip, we will be stopping by the Toledo branch to inspect the refacing of the old facade.

photo composite: © Rick Rodine, 1982

Concept

2009-08-04T10:16:00.003-04:00

The 1961 Chrysler Turboflite!

Headquarters

2009-07-26T14:43:00.007-04:00

The new HQ for The Otto Mannix Report, designed by Norwegian architect Ingo Lundvig. (click pic to enlarge)

Fun

2009-07-22T13:01:00.012-04:00

...when toys WERE fun. Isn't that what they're supposed to be? Check out the Mattel commercial here.

A great toy, the DESERT PATROL pistol must have been one hell of fun toy. And the design is pretty accurate! See the actual WWII Luger, scanned together with the toy for size comparison!

And finally, a toy syringe for all kinds of hi-jinx!

Downtown

2009-07-16T15:06:00.006-04:00

American Product

2009-07-08T18:42:00.004-04:00

Parkington '51

2009-06-24T18:32:00.021-04:00

For your consideration: an experimental film from 1984, shot in black-and-white Super-8, and hand developed. A rare document of a 1950s 'one-stop shopping center' in its senile years, the film features beautifully detached scenes of blank sentimentality, whatever that means... it also digresses into other stuff, ostensibly for context, seeming to serve some purpose. Either way, the tone of the piece is sharp. The voice: clear.

Unfortunately, there is a dearth of information about this peculiar lost landmark; not even a nod from the various websites devoted to the history of Arlingon, Virginia. The time has come, and so Parkington Shopping Center will be examined further in a future post. The public needs to know. For now, take a look at the film. More to come, including the reassembled sequel.

Super-8 stills: © Michael Horsley, 1984.

Catastrophic System Failure

2009-06-14T12:53:00.029-04:00

The Otto Mannix Two-Year Anniversary went over without a hitch... at first. Then the deluge of responses and congratulations flooded in and crashed our state-of-the-art computer systems. The efficient and attractive Operations Monitor, Daphne, immediately followed protocol and ran the data up through the chain of command.
A review of surveillance tapes revealed no foulplay. The mainframe was shut down, with auxiliary processors running diagnostics. A suspected VIRUS was then discovered in the CPU. Otto Mannix himself and VP Helmut Schplatt discussed possible strategies and avenues of escape. Diagnostics indicated not a virus but a PARASITE, uncommon in these systems. A private contractor, Inspector Columbine, was brought in on a Sunday to poke around and ask the tough questions. No stranger to parasites, having once contracted the Malaria, Columbine seemed to be getting to the bottom of something. The results of his inquiry will be posted upon completion. For now, our Tech Team has brought in the RCA Spectra Data Collecting System as an interim means of operation. Thank you for your patience in this matter.

The Bad-ass and the Beautiful

2009-05-15T22:06:00.045-04:00

To commemorate the two-year anniversary of THE OTTO MANNIX REPORT, we present, in concert with The United Provinces of Ivanlandia, Toestubber, and American National Standard, an examination of those lowbrow, high-speed classics that left us all in the dust before we even knew what hit us. (click highlighted text for important shit; click pics to enlarge)

It seems THE WILD ONE is the first real biker movie. Released more than a decade before the genre took hold, it encompasses most the biker flick conventions to come. The fuse was lit, but the explosion would come later. In the meantime, other piss was brewing. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE was among the first to whine about the teen delinquency problem.

From the late fifties we get a spate of Juvenile Delinquent movies, such as THE COOL AND THE CRAZY, or HIGH SCHOOL CAESAR. Many showcased rock-and-roll bands. BLACKBOARD JUNGLE features BILL HALEY AND HIS COMETS. HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL opens with JERRY LEE LEWIS and his band rockin' down the road in a big convertible. GIRLS TOWN features a gooey, insipid PAUL ANKA, at his post-puberty worst. The low point of an otherwise entertaining spectacle.

More about these retarded masterpieces later. So what happened to all these hep-cats? Well, they got older, bought bikes, and really got it on... in BIKER MOVIES! There had been some early works, such as MOTORCYCLE GANG, 1957, and WILD ONES ON WHEELS, '62, but in 1966, a great low-budget New York street-gang movie, TEENAGE GANG DEBS, teams the stiletto-wielding hoodlums with the outlaw bikers, and features a couple real NYC bike gangs. The RPMs are credited in the opening, and we later see a fuckhead with a leather jacket which reads: THE ALIENS - QUEENS. Obscure as it is, this movie is a whopper! It's the bridge, or even the missing link, between the two genres.

The real kick-start came the same year, when Roger Corman shocked us all with THE WILD ANGELS. It has it all, raucous madcap antics, fuzzy guitar strains, a rape scene, and real bikers (supposedly). Like all Corman entries, no pretension, strictly entertainment; crucial to the spirit of the genre. Peter Fonda revved up good in this one, but Petered out in the end, proving for the first of many times that he's a big pussy. And speaking of pussy, Nancy Sinatra dragged hers onto the screen, much to the revulsion of all. No matter, the movie is turbo-charged. The funeral scene rips hard, leading to a classic biker procession. We could expound upon plot elements, Bruce Dern, and other bullshit, but enough has already been written about these stupid movies, so fuck it, let's ride on...

In '67 we get HELL'S ANGELS ON WHEELS, a great biker flick and failed buddy movie. Don't ask IVANLANDIA; they hate this movie's guts and want to beat it with a bike chain, but for the very reason that we at OMR give it our seal of approval! Because... these flicks come in two types, you either ride with the gang and everyone else can go to hell, or you're asked to root for some square who has to grow balls and battle a stinkin' pack of cycle dogs. We're still scratching our heads as to where this movie fits in. The protagonist, a disillusioned young man called Poet, played by Jack Nicholson, winds up riding with the Angels. He becomes enamored of the lifestyle, but even more so of Shill, the leader's ol' lady, played to sickening perfection by Sabrina Scharf. Despite Poet's advances on his ol' lady, the leader Buddy (Adam Roarke), takes a liking to him and brings him in, is protective of him, and even suggests him as a 'prospect'. He conveys to Poet the loyalty between men, but Poet, in his lameness, can't resist the goofed-out Shill, a spoiled, well-heeled manipulator. Along the way, each of the gang's crimes is ethically justified and Buddy seems to be the only stand-up dude. We the audience are left with our parts in our hands. Great if you like stupid shit as much as we do. SONNY BARGER sez, "... it was something to do, something we could do, without thinking too much." and, "... some of the crew thought Nicholson was a member from another charter, his style was so convincing. Even a few of our club members thought he was a Hell's Angel."

What is a TRUE biker picture? Here are some tell-tale signs that you are actually watching a biker movie:
1. An outlaw motorcycle club.
2. A good gas station scene.
3. An outsider along for the ride; either an infiltrator or a prospect.
4. Confrontation with society at large, preferably at a gas station.
5. Nazi paraphernalia, Iron Crosses, swastikas, etc.
6. Beer spraying all around, spilling all over the place and dribbling off the filthiest beards your dead grandma ever imagined in her sluttiest days.
7. A good raping, preferably at a gas station; and hopefully the whole joint goes up in flames.

HELL'S ANGELS '69 is the best of 'em all, except for the better ones. Jeremy Slate and his bozo brother attempt to look hip enough to infiltrate the Angels, in order to pull a casino heist and blame it on the bikers. Although they never end up looking cooler than a couple of middle-aged rump-riders, they somehow ingratiate themselves to the club, played by actual Hell's Angels, who look cooler than the sissy actors who would portray them. Great performances by all, even the Angels, particularly Terry the Tramp (second from left) who works the camera quite well. Aw fuck it, check it out for yourself. You won't be bored unless you're one of those assholes that expects a movie to be good. Barger sez, "I must say, the movie is pretty accurate on the way we looked and acted and the kind of Harleys we rode at the time."

SATAN'S SADISTS, 1969, presents arguably the wickedest pack of One-Percenters ever. These bastards rape and kill as casually as scratching their ass. Russ Tamblyn invites utmost enmity as the leader of 'The Satans', (And this from the Shakespearean delinquent in West Side Story, and the mama's boy in the turgid skull-fucking melodrama Peyton Place!) Unfortunately the story takes us into the desert for the second half, a common pitfall in these vehicles; convenient for the budget, but how many arroyos and cacti can we suffer? Well whatever, this movie may be the nastiest in the canon. For that alone, two big thumbs up... yer ass.

HELL'S BELLES,1970, is an interesting entry, as we cheer on a stoic cowboy motorcycle racer, played hilariously by Jeremy Slate, as he tries to retrieve his stolen prize-bike from a ruthless gang of ne'er-do-wells headed by the obsessed Tampa, played well by Adam Roarke. Tampa, refusing outright to return the bike, offers up his old lady as a trade. (Bitch-as-property is another important property of any self-respecting bike gang film.) And the bitch in question, clad in a killer leather mini, is indisputably the hottest bike wench in the universe. Jocelyn Lane was an English model-turned-actress who bedazzled groins for a few flicks and then quit the biz to marry into rag-head royalty. A true shame considering she flashes the best crotch since "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm Douches at the Babbling Brook", dir. Arnheim Würtfangler, 1952.

ANGEL UNCHAINED, 1970, has Don Stroud leaving the pack and hitting out on his own. He musta taken one too many puffs watching Easy Rider, because no sooner does he exit 'the gas station scene', than he winds up in a hippy commune. And who rules the commune, but the same self-righteous pinko freak played by Luke Askew from Easy Rider. But the movie climbs out of the crapper when Stroud is beseeched to recruit his former comrades to fend off a bunch of hippy-hating cowboys who ride around terrorizing in colorful dune buggies! A real free-for-all for the whole family. The best part is Stroud, who comes off as a likable, pragmatic fellow. An under-appreciated actor... where the fuck is the Kleenex?

And finally, GIMME SHELTER, 1970. It starts as a rock-and-roll documentary, but the bikers roll in and take over the third act. Candid shots of the Angels at work make this a REAL biker movie. The club even provides, free of charge, an excellent denouement by justifiably homiciding a gun-toting shitbag, all on camera! Hell, they may have even saved that goofball Jagger's life! The only downside: no good gas station scenes. In his book, Sonny sez, "Altamont might have been some big catastrophe to the hippies, but it was just another Hell's Angels event to me... I was headed for some wilder times that would make Altamont look like a church picnic." If you've made it this far, you have NO LIFE, but thanks for that. We'll hit some other bike flicks in future posts. For now, take 'er easy, we love you and FUCK YOU.
-O.M.

Rev Up!

2009-05-14T11:24:00.017-04:00

Get ready to ride, this weekend, May 15-17, to the BIKER MOVIE BLOW-OUT! A multi-blog BIKE FLICK RUN featuring the IVANLAND SCORCHERS and THE AUTO MANICS. Bring your whole club, and a few cases of Schlitz. Everyone who ain't a chickenshit pussy is invited!

On The Road

2009-05-05T10:53:00.048-04:00

A man went looking for America, and couldn't find it anywhere...

...the team at MAD Magazine went looking for a 'plot', and couldn't find THAT anywhere!

The United Provinces of Ivanlandia has stated that Easy Rider is not to be considered a 'biker movie'. If so, then what IS a biker movie? What defines the true BIKER MOVIE? What do we expect from such a film? It's tricky because there are so few, relative to other genres.
The list on WIKIPEDIA, which includes ER, stretches the bounds to include many entries that do not qualify.

According to Hells Angels founder, Sonny Barger: "Easy Rider, supposedly the greatest bike movie ever made, wasn't really a bike movie at all. It was a movie about two drug dealers who happened to travel cross-country on bikes." Who are we to argue with Sonny?

So Easy Rider is not a true biker movie, presumably because Wyatt and Billy are not part of an Outlaw Motorcycle Club. But we at OMR feel it does belong on the family tree, in that it was born out of the biker movie phenomenon, and features a cast of biker flick regulars: Dennis Hopper (The Glory Stompers), Peter Fonda (The Wild Angels), Jack Nicholson (The Rebel Rousers, Hells Angels on Wheels), Sabrina Scharf (Hells Angels on Wheels), Luke Askew (Angel Unchained), Robert Walker, Jr. (The Savage Seven), and of course the cinematographer László Kovács (Hells Angels on Wheels, The Savage Seven, Hell's Bloody Devil's, The Rebel Rousers).

And after all, they ARE outlaws from the git-go, and they DO ride tricked-out chopped bikes. More importantly, WE ride with them and feel their alienation as they encounter hippies, rednecks and The Man. But in one early scene, a rancher lends them a hand and feeds them, and Wyatt compliments him, "You do your own thing in your own time. You should be proud." Thus it is individual freedom that fuels this ride. They have no desire to 'join', and in that sense, ER is not a true biker movie. We all know what it is: a ROAD MOVIE! ("The one that started it all"?)

As for the MAD satire, the writer got off to a great start but didn't bother to see it through. He misses a lot of good potential by neglecting the third act. Imagine what he could have done with the acid trip! Mort Drucker, however, lives up to his usual high standard. His crisp, clear, expressive style is always in the service of pure hilarity. Truly the greatest caricaturist, ever. Examine the beautiful lines from the hand of Drucker. (more to come on the Fortieth Anniversary of Easy Rider on July 14)

We'll be examining Biker Movies further on the weekend of May 15. Please visit OMR and the United Provinces of Ivanlandia, as we attempt to distill the essence of this micro-genre.

Slots and Rings

2009-04-30T15:57:00.005-04:00

Two great tastes that taste great together...

Spring Cleaning

2009-04-24T18:28:00.014-04:00

Due to the current econoclysm, we are reducing our storage space. In this effort, we are posting various items which must be cleared out. They never made the grade for a post of their own, so they must now share cyberspace in one gloriously useless entry.

One of those 'stare-at-it-for-a-long-time-and-close-your-eyes-and-see-the-negative' deals. (click to enlarge, then consume the illusion.)

We assume that this may have been a production still taken for continuity, but it may be from a wax museum. Either way, it sickens a refined sensibility, does it not?

It all seems to be going well, but sometimes a trip can go horribly awry.

Rickles seems to be hitting big on the scene at the moment, so we thought we'd ride that wave a bit.

Miss January 1965, Sally Duberson. We discovered this centerfold and recognized it from a pop-art painting by the great Mel Ramos.

Polyhedra

2009-04-12T11:50:00.012-04:00

To Be Frank

2009-04-06T10:37:00.009-04:00

In 1953, Ciba Pharmaceutical Products, Inc. showcased the illustrative talents of Dr. Frank H. Netter in a handsome volume that would add education and entertainment to any library or coffee table. We will present more of these masterful renderings in future posts, strictly for the illumination of yet another interesting aspect of our wondrous world. (click image for larger view)

Publication

2009-03-28T15:38:00.005-04:00

Magazine from the Otto Mannix Library, LLC. Be ready over the next couple months for bits of this classic publication to come filtering to you. There is much to be consumed within the pages of this little gem.

Zombies

2009-03-17T12:47:00.011-04:00

Keep your eyes open. Be prepared. There is cause for concern. It's come to our attention that they DO in fact walk among us.

photos: © Per Billgren, 2008

Equitable

2009-03-09T20:52:00.006-04:00

Photo composite of the mighty Equitable Building in Des Moines, Iowa, with the monolithic Ruan Center looming in the background.

photo: © Rick Rodine, 1982

Sack

2009-03-01T10:22:00.001-05:00

What can one say about a simple sack?

Replacement Part

2009-02-28T10:54:00.003-05:00

Due to a technical difficulty in the previous post, we've sent for a replacement part which should fix the problem. Thank you for your patience.

Prez

2009-02-16T08:02:00.005-05:00

Love

2009-02-15T13:22:00.006-05:00

Continuing our Valentine's Weekend, we present for your amorous edification this masterpiece from the "Bronze Age" of the "DC Universe", scanned from the Library of Otto Mannix, LLC. Enjoy, friends and fans!

Civil Rights

2009-02-14T11:48:00.006-05:00

In the second installment of our GREAT MOMENTS IN TV HISTORY series, we present this poignant scene from SPACE JOURNEY; a post-coital conflict resolution between Lieutenant Kurt and Ahora, so explosive it threatened to blow the lid off the entire 1960s.

Bad Taste

2009-02-10T18:22:00.005-05:00

For excellence in bad taste, these full-size comic magazines, Terror Tales, Tales of Voodoo, Horror Tales, and Weird, had all the others beat.

Al & Miltie

2009-02-08T11:51:00.007-05:00

1959 magazine cover by the genius. What better way to escape the reality of these dark times than to gaze dumbly at this stupid artifact?

Lonely Nights

2008-12-03T19:28:00.006-05:00

1960s

2008-11-19T18:37:00.006-05:00

This postcard shot of downtown Des Moines, taken from the Grand Avenue bridge, goes out to BLUES HISTORIAN, who can give you a case of the blues that no amount of anti-depressants can cure!
(photographer unknown)

Advertise

2008-11-19T01:16:00.003-05:00

They went all out.

Velocity

2008-11-13T21:04:00.003-05:00

photo: Ernst Haas

Old Times Square

2008-11-12T06:15:00.007-05:00

...lest we forget.

(photographer unknown; scanned from GAF viewmaster slide; one half of stereoscopic view; as always, click for enlarged image.)

The Boys

2008-09-02T12:51:00.005-04:00

One of the most stylin' FOUND PHOTOS in our collection. Who were they, and did they record any albums?

The Gang

2008-08-01T18:35:00.008-04:00

Part of our GREAT MOMENTS IN TV HISTORY series. In many versions of this photo appearing on the web, the two characters on the right, Andrea Zuckerman and Scott Scanlon, have been cropped out. We suppose because Andrea was Jewish and didn't really fit in, and Scott was a mixed-up kid who started playing with guns; the eventual and natural conclusion being his blowing his head off at his own tragic birthday party.

World Affairs

2008-07-22T22:49:00.003-04:00

Goddang, that RATKO is a slippery fella. Now just where in tarnation is that rascal?

Photos

2008-06-24T17:00:00.018-04:00

We had much to celebrate recently here at the offices of OMR. Suddenly champagne corks were popping and a regular wing-ding ensued. It got a little wild and some of the employees were becoming randy. (--resulting in grounds for a sexual-harrassment suit, which could effectively bring down this house of cards.) Once the smoke cleared, the revellers began indulging themselves in revery. Tears flowed as sentiment bubbled over. We all began sifting through the OMR photo archives in a disgusting display of maudlin reminiscence. It was decided between swigs that we post some of our classic photographs from the bad old days. So sit back, fire up a Chesterfield and enjoy.

(The photos you have just enjoyed are the express property of OTTO MANNIX. Visitors to this site are encouraged to use them for recreational, educational or masturbational purposes. Any attempt to use them for capital gain will result in immediate service of subpoenae by our crack team of Harvard-educated attorneys-at-law. And be advised: our jews are better than your jews. --O.M.)

Lost New York

2008-05-14T10:59:00.012-04:00

Tavern formerly located on Eighth Avenue, near 31st Street.

Store formerly located on Sixth Avenue, near 22nd Street.

Tompkins Square Park, 1989; with the old bandshell, home to many an honorable drunk or junkie.

Store formerly located on 23rd Street, near Park Avenue.

photographs copyright 1989, Rick Rodine.
(terminated from OMR in 1992 for drinking on the job)

Technology

2008-05-14T10:53:00.008-04:00

The image-scanning system here at OMR has been down for months due to a fried integrated circuit card. We are sorry for the inconvenience to your daily media regimen. The card has been replaced and the UNIVAC is now purring like a kitten after a saucer of fresh whole milk.

1966

2008-04-27T15:29:00.003-04:00

A young Otto Mannix in Des Moines.

R.I.P.

2008-02-29T07:48:00.006-05:00

“Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.”

Herzog

2008-02-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

OMR is joining the ranks of the many bloggers who have referred to the work of FRED HERZOG, German-born photographer who documented Vancouver in the 1950s. Scroll through the forty-five photographs presented on this website.

Drugs

2008-02-07T18:25:00.001-05:00

photo: Jürgen Schlächtendörfer, 2008

Comic

2008-02-07T18:24:00.001-05:00

There was a time when reading a comic book was a worthwhile activity.

Block

2008-02-07T18:18:00.000-05:00

This place has the FAMILY-SIZE tube of Preparation H .

Bargain

2007-12-06T20:14:00.001-05:00

This offer from Pam Kray. Contact her through Otto Mannix Report comment section.

Automobile

2007-10-29T22:38:00.000-04:00

The end of the American Road for this little honey.
photo copywrite: OMR staff photographer Svengar Svengensson, 2007

Clockwise?

2007-10-19T22:04:00.001-04:00

Which way does she spin?

Oil

2007-10-08T21:46:00.001-04:00

At The Cafe, 1878, Eduoard Manet.

Vertigram

2007-09-14T18:56:00.000-04:00

designed 1987, Rick Rodine.

Situations

2007-09-10T23:28:00.000-04:00

An announcement over the loudspeaker to the entire staff of the OTTO MANNIX REPORT is heard at least once a week: "We've got a Situation," whereupon each officer and staff member drops what he or she is doing, scoots his or her chair back, and immediately exits his or her cubicle. We then convene in the Situation Room. The tension in the air can be cut with a plastic knife as the workers jostle about, clumsily fighting for seats closest to Mr. Mannix. Coffee from the Bunn machine is poured into styrofoam cups and passed around to the anxious participants, some of whom add various milk or sugar substitutes.

The lighting in the room is quite unusual, and for a very different reason. The anti-lights mounted in the ceiling cast a necessary darkness over the proceedings, leaving only the intensely hot, bright metal halide lamps mounted under the table to illuminate the Situation. Extreme conditions such as these are what forge the necessary determination of this team of dedicated and self-serious journalists.

Welcome to the OTTO MANNIX REPORT. It is our stated goal to deliver the most relevant, incisive and misingenuous information available on the world-wide web, at least once or twice a month. Thank you for visiting.

Torn

2007-09-10T23:10:00.001-04:00

Two images of works by Mimmo Rotella, perhaps the most famous out of a handful of artists who worked in the medium called Décollage.

70 Pine

2007-09-02T19:06:00.001-04:00

One of two carved limestone replicas of the American International Building at 70 Pine Street in downtown New York. The sculptures stand guard over the two main entrances of this under-appreciated skyscraper on Pine and Cedar Streets.

- - - -

Immediately after snapping this digital photograph, the Otto Mannix staff photographer was told by a security guard to refrain from taking any further pictures. Click on the photo for an enlarged jpeg.

Office

2007-08-11T11:35:00.000-04:00

We know many of you are curious about the inner workings of the OTTO MANNIX New York Headquarters. So in the interest of full disclosure we present this digital photograph of our electronic computer, from which all this important information is disseminated. Clearly, we've consolidated all the hardware into one small room, a truly 'state-of-the-art' operation. NEXT MONTH: a full-color photograph of our Situation Room!

Kovacs II

2007-08-07T14:28:00.001-04:00

Two shots from PSYCH-OUT. Laszlo was able to perform only one test of the psychedelic lighting, the liquid projections being the tricky part. The film's budget did not allow for the testing he would have preferred, but the results made this scene one of the best in the movie. PSYCH-OUT is enjoyable despite itself, mostly for the visuals. (Jack Nicholson, above center, 'rocking out', was in many of Kovacs' earlier films including FIVE EASY PIECES, bottom.)

Kovacs

2007-07-22T21:46:00.001-04:00

LASZLO KOVACS is dead. that motherfucker deserved the Oscar in '69 for EASY RIDER. if there is one thing about that movie that holds up very well it is the cinematography. maybe some of you don't love the film as i do, but you gotta admit now, it LOOKS DAMN GOOD!

in New Orleans they had some technical difficulties which forced Kovacs to shoot the scenes in 16mm, a problem at the time which ended up being the best thing that could have happened; that acid trip is about as accurate as could possibly be shot on film. no silly hallucinations, just the right crazy vibe...

THANK YOU LASZLO for those pictures. R.I.P.

Speed

2007-06-02T20:33:00.003-04:00

We at OMR want to see a movie where the camera strays all over the place rather than locking slavishly onto the characters in each shot in every scene. Let us breathe the air and see a bit of the scenery, let us believe that the characters exist in a real world, full of OTHER people with THEIR own problems. For Otto, these are qualities that distinguish an interesting movie. It's nice when films present a space, a geography that one can sink into.

Check out the movie VANISHING POINT. In 1971 my dad took my brother and me to see this existential, white-trash masterpiece at the drive-in. Mother Mannix had probably told him, "you never do anything with the kids," so he took us to see an R-rated movie about a speed-freak gunning a Dodge Challenger across the desert. He sat in the front seat swilling beer and choking butts with a buddy while we sat in back eating candy and drinking pop (there's no such thing as 'soda' in Iowa). We loved that damned movie.

OMR recently bought the DVD, and were surprised how well it holds up. The throaty blast of the Dodge engine is worth it alone. We could attempt to describe the movie with all manner of literary flourish, but would fail, So we turn you over to Mark Burbey at THE OBSERVATION DECK. He tackles it pretty well.

Graffito

2007-05-20T20:04:00.002-04:00

in '82, Bruce Hellington and i hitchhiked to the midwest. he stopped in Indianapolis and i continued on to Des Moines. i brought a bunch of stencils for peppering all my old haunts with rude graffiti. afterwards KC caught the bug and continued with a classic stencil of JFK's face with the caption NATION OF HYPE (a response to all the hype over the twentieth anniversary of the assassination.) but the one that caught on was DEAD MOINES, a photo of which was printed in the Des Moines Register. it was sprayed onto a plate-glass window, prompting the resourceful photographer to place something in the background, out of focus, to give the pic a creepy effect.

Locust II

2007-05-18T22:07:00.002-04:00

gettin' a bit more of Locust Avenue in these two shots by JOHN VACHON 1940, and by CHARLES CUSHMAN 1958. (clicking on Vachon link will take you to an excellent collection of color slides presented by the Library of Congress, wherein reside hi-resolution jpegs of photos by John Vachon, Jack Delano and others)

Locust

2007-05-17T21:59:00.002-04:00

This picture reaches back into my memory: My old man takes me to the tavern on the left (with the HAMM's sign) for some quality time with his pool-shark buddies, some of the best in the midwest. Beyond the SCHLITZ sign one can barely read the SKIG's sign. Ol' Skigarelli serves up the slime while we utilize a large speaker magnet to guide the pinball to high scores, thus securing free games.

Eleven year-old punks, Miller and I ride our bikes through this former downtown Des Moines long-since eclipsed by the shiny new business district across the river. The city closes down at business-dusk so we ride through the emptiness, longing for something, finding nothing but the romance of our own limitations. Maybe we traverse the tracks looking for something come in on the rail... probably nothing. It was always nothing. KC coins it: DEAD MOINES.

I had hoped this was a photo of a genuine, old-school hobo come in on the rail, but was then let down by the revelation it was actually JOHN CARRADINE walking sadly through a bit part in a 1967 low-budget movie shot on location in Des Moines called THE HOSTAGE (oh, how the mighty have fallen). But spirits were raised by the realization I could perhaps procure this shitty movie gem on the world-wide-web and take this nostalgic trip to the next level, provided there were a few more revealing shots like this one.