Happy Holidays

May all your season's grievings be justified.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT???

Part Two

Our picks for the new cast of Hawaii Five-O. But CBS didn't listen.
(click to enlarge)

Takeover

McGarrett: Keep cool, boys. Don't make any sudden movements. Let's see what these douchebags are up to.

Chin Ho: We're all over this shit, Steve.

Dano: Affirmative.

"HOLD IT! Stay right there, and get over yourself asshole, there is only ONE McGarrett, and it's ME!"

McGarrett: Che Fong, we have DNA samples of the new cast members and we want to confirm the data in case they try to pass this Korean guy off as a Hawaiian.

Ben: But Steve, we don't yet know if he's supposed to be Hawaiian.

McGarrett: Doesn't matter, the fact is, there is not ONE true Hawaiian on the new Five-O team. And that goes against everything Leonard Freeman and I tried to do with this show!

Che Fong: I'm on it, Steve. I'll run 'em through our genealogical database.

"Don't worry, honey. You're safe. It's preconfirmed that these idiots will not fill our shoes."

"OK, new guy, just TRY to be as cool as I will always be."

(this is the first installment of our special series of reactions to the new Hawaii Five-O.)

Berlin

Screen captures from the 1966 film FUNERAL IN BERLIN. a spy movie.

Library

We've decided to burn all the books in our library in a Great Purge! Who needs all that smelly old paper, when we can just buy those fruity machines?! Great, another battery to have to keep charged!

Strip Club

Super-8 strips © 1985, 1987, Subnational Arts.

Movie Theaters

These slides from Des Moines movie houses taken from here.

Ode to Frank

Things were going fine that night,
Then she walked into the room,
I think it's when i took that drink,
Of milk, what sealed my doom.




The curtains danced, our bodies glanced,
The walls began to breathe,

A slow advance, a weird romance,
Too see, but not believe.





But other eyes were in that place,
I swear I saw them there,
Three other guys, a blurry face,
Believe me if you dare.




So, I ran into the shattered street,
In fractured beads of light,

Up was down and left was right,
So far out -- out of sight.




I waded, godlike, onto shore,
The cloth of time unfurled,
But that's what happens, trippin' on ACID,
As "FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD"!



(35mm Slitscan photographs from the classic 1966 film)