The End of Times

Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By...

"GODDAMMIT," says Otto as he tries to adjust the picture.

"I can't believe this is REALITY."

"SHIT, i thought technology was supposed to be convenient!"

"Lemme just give this baby a reach-around."

"It's no use," says Otto in final frustration.

Part Two

Our picks for the new cast of Hawaii Five-O. But CBS didn't listen.
(click to enlarge)

Takeover

McGarrett: Keep cool, boys. Don't make any sudden movements. Let's see what these douchebags are up to.

Chin Ho: We're all over this shit, Steve.

Dano: Affirmative.

"HOLD IT! Stay right there, and get over yourself asshole, there is only ONE McGarrett, and it's ME!"

McGarrett: Che Fong, we have DNA samples of the new cast members and we want to confirm the data in case they try to pass this Korean guy off as a Hawaiian.

Ben: But Steve, we don't yet know if he's supposed to be Hawaiian.

McGarrett: Doesn't matter, the fact is, there is not ONE true Hawaiian on the new Five-O team. And that goes against everything Leonard Freeman and I tried to do with this show!

Che Fong: I'm on it, Steve. I'll run 'em through our genealogical database.

"Don't worry, honey. You're safe. It's preconfirmed that these idiots will not fill our shoes."

"OK, new guy, just TRY to be as cool as I will always be."

(this is the first installment of our special series of reactions to the new Hawaii Five-O.)

Civil Rights

In the second installment of our GREAT MOMENTS IN TV HISTORY series, we present this poignant scene from SPACE JOURNEY; a post-coital conflict resolution between Lieutenant Kurt and Ahora, so explosive it threatened to blow the lid off the entire 1960s.

Al & Miltie

1959 magazine cover by the genius. What better way to escape the reality of these dark times than to gaze dumbly at this stupid artifact?

The Gang

Part of our GREAT MOMENTS IN TV HISTORY series. In many versions of this photo appearing on the web, the two characters on the right, Andrea Zuckerman and Scott Scanlon, have been cropped out. We suppose because Andrea was Jewish and didn't really fit in, and Scott was a mixed-up kid who started playing with guns; the eventual and natural conclusion being his blowing his head off at his own tragic birthday party.